The Snake and the Jendeh
مار و جنده
Banana Skin Lady
Recently I was browsing on Facebook when what I thought was a picture of a snake caught my eye. It reminded me of a woman who I used to work with. It was only when I looked closer at the picture that I realised it wasn’t a snake but a picture of a winding road. As it reminded me of my ex colleague I posted it on my facebook with the caption “I thought this was a picture of Cxxxxxx but when I looked closer it’s a picture of a road.” My friend Jeanne, (pronounced Sharn) replied “Who’s Cxxxxxx omg”. Well I couldn’t possibly post all the info on my Facebook wall so I sent her a private message. I’ve posted an edited version of what I told her here:
Mrs xxx was a woman I used to work with. To say she was a snakey person is an understatement. I’ve never met anyone like her in my life. This woman would be as nice pie to you to your face but stitch you up at every opportunity.
When I was working on Kane magazine she told me wanted to earn some extra money by being a Mistress, dominating spanking and whipping the bare bottoms of guys. Of course, she didn’t mention any of this when she ratted on me to the general manager, but two can play at that game. Little did she know the hand written advert she composed to place in the magazine I kept for a rainy day. This I produced at a later date and showed to all and sundry before I took my voluntary redundancy some years later.
This woman and I wrote three readers’ letters that I sent to my friend Paula Meadows when she edited Februs, a sort of trilogy of office discipline. One of these was had written by the woman in question as though she had been spanked and caned by me in our office at London’s Heathrow Airport. If you purchased Februs there’s a good chance you’ve read them. I kept a photocopy of her handwritten letter in her unmistakable handwriting just to be on the safe side. Just as well it seems.
How I would have loved to have had her bend over my desk, raise her uniform skirt and cane her bare bottom leaving it covered in red sore stripes you cannot imagine. Sadly it never happened but I’ve often given much thought to how it would have been done if I did get the chance.
Mind you, she wasn’t the only snake of a person I’ve worked with. Back in the good old days when I worked at Mister Byrites’ head office in Uplands Trading Estate Walthamstow the stock controller John W. was given the nickname “Snake Eyes”. I couldn’t fathom out why he was given that nickname as just plain “Snake” would have been sufficient.
Apart from the real snakes that I had the dubious pleasure of working with I’ve had to suffer many more. Especially from hijab wearing women who don’t practice what they preach. Jendeh is the Farsi terminology for such women فاحشه قدیمی ها
Featured image is Mistress Eleise de Lacy courtesy of my friends at FemmeFataleFilms.com
